We yell a lot in our family. My papi yelled a lot. I learned it from him. To bottle my rage. And mijos, you learn it from me. Last week, while your mother was away, I had to apologize to you boys for my yelling, for my rage spilling over, for my low threshold and tolerance of your exuberance and silly playfulness.
I have been struggling with setting boundaries, with where to be firm, and where to be soft, and where to be permissive. I need to stop yelling, to listen to each of you and your voice. And most times your silly mode is acceptable. But sometimes it is not.
To be silly and light hearted. (I have written about this before, and pretty sure I will again). I know that I will live a much more rewarding and longer life by softening my heart by embracing silly playfulness.
Keep in mind the middle way. Let's consider the guitar and its strings as an example. If I tighten the strings too tight, they will give off shrill sounds when played. They will not last; they will be too brittle when plucked and eventually snap before their time. If I loosen the strings too much, they will not produce a lasting sound at all and what they do produce will be low and garbled, clanging haphazardly against the body and neck of the guitar. When I tune the guitar strings just right, in the middle, not loose and not tight, that is when they produce honey sweet sounds for our hearts and ears. Keep in mind the middle way.