Friday, August 19, 2016

A Few Principles of Emotional Health and Wellness

All of us are a little bit crazy.  We grew up in an imperfect world, with imperfect parents, who hopefully did the best that they could. We have all experienced some form of trauma.

All emotions are good and necessary.  If we limit one emotion, then we limit our capacity for all emotion.

Emotional health is being able to experience our emotions freely and at times extremely; not limiting our ability to experience any of our emotions in their entirety, while also not getting stuck for too long in one extreme or another.  Emotional health is also the ability to keep our experiencing of extreme emotion from harming others.  Ultimately, the ability to fluidly experience the entire range of our emotions while not allowing them to consume us and our actions is a sign of emotional health.

When two people act out of their craziness together, that is when people get hurt.  If one person can stay calm, can keep their craziness out of the interaction, while the first person is acting out, there is a much better chance that no one will be hurt.

We can only go as deeply with someone as we have gone with ourselves.  Without doing work to shed light into our own deepest darkest places, we will run from and help others avoid their dark places.

Be a soft place to land. Allow yourself to land softly.

Lean into your discomfort.  Do the emotional labor.  Dance with fear, and pain, and anger, and hatred, and happiness, and sadness, and love.

In all relationships, whether through intensity and/or duration, we experience all aspects of each person in the relationship; there is no hiding.

Thought without emotion is endless possibilities with no ability to choose or decide.

We have all been traumatized in some way.  We have all developed coping strategies, mechanism, dynamics, and patterns.  If there are any behaviors that you hope to change you must ask yourself, what do I get out of this behavior?  How does this behavior, this belief, this strategy, serve me now?  Am I willing to change this behavior if it no longer is serving my current needs?  With what new behavior can I replace this old strategy?  What new plan can I develop, experiment with, and embrace to serve my current needs?


  1. Gracias Gabriel, siempre disfruto lo que escribes. What do I get from the behavour? We should be real honest, to make that change. Abrazos a todos.

    1. ¡Gracias por su apoyo! Agradezco que disfrutas de mi escritura y expresión.