Saturday, March 26, 2022

Old Man Rant

Things I hate about getting old: every little bump and bruise hurts for way too long, much longer than they used to. Was playing lacrosse with my two youngest and one of them smacked my elbow as they were playing defense (I had looked at my elbows before leaving the house, but I didn't grab them - I should have). The rest of the day and into the next day my elbow felt like I sprained my whole arm - like really?!? My index finger, the top joint, has some kind of ligament dilemma, and it's been hurting for days, maybe weeks. Seriously. Go jogging around with the boys again, and my knees start screaming at me (maybe it's because I spend all day sitting at this computer).

Things I like about getting old: patience. I have a lot more patience (sometimes). I hope I am little wiser every day, at least about some things. I get to see my children grow and grow - and while I love every stage and they were really cute when they were younger, their personalities are getting more and more visible. It's beautiful to see them struggle - again, sometimes. Sometimes, with these schools, it's just a headache - I keep forgetting that humanizing practices, seeing students as human first and rule followers and compliance machines second, is just not what most schools are about. 

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Learning Loss in the Banking System of Education


The term learning loss assumes that learning is linear, that youth can be in a state of non-learning, and that our current measurements of student learning are effective. It also assumes that there are times that we are losing what we have learned. While I do think that we get rusty with things that we do not practice, as I have experienced this myself, I am not sure the term “loss” captures the essence of this phenomenon; while my swimming is rusty, I am not going to drown in a pool once I have learned to swim; while my Spanish is rusty since I have not been regularly using it, I can still find my way through a conversation, and with some practice and social connection I will grow right back into my previous capacities, my neural networks will wrap some more myelin. We (and definitely youth) are learning all of the time, every day, every moment. Youth may not be learning what “we” want them to learn, but they are learning - there is no such thing as a non-learner, or non-learning (with rare exceptions in the case of acute physical damage or neglect).

The concept of "learning loss", akin to the achievement gap, is based on the use of standardized testing, and represents a colossal failure in our school system - but not a failure of our students to learn or be open to learning. If for decades we continue to see the same results from standardized testing why does the system continue to employ the same testing methods and ask why we don’t see change?

A focus on relationships, caring, and community building are the key elements to creating educational spaces where students will engage in deep learning because they know they belong and have agency. It is in these holistic structure where we focus on the overall health and well-being of youth in order that they be open to taking the risks and sharing of themselves fully, stances necessary for students to effectively build their academic, intellectual, and social-emotional capacity. These interrelational and interconnected factors are the primary necessities of a school community, especially after and during a worldwide pandemic during which our communities have experienced trauma, loss, and disruption. Coming back to school and focusing only on the “rigorous” implementation of academic instruction, essentially eliminating time students have to create community and connection, will only lead to more loss, trauma, and disruption to both academic learning and overall wellbeing.  

Dorn et al’s concerns about the disparity in opportunities for students of color and other marginalized populations are not unfounded. However, their argument is based on standardized assessments and the concept that grade level buckets of knowledge are to be deposited into each students’ brain at each stop along the linear factory model of banking education. Learning is so much more complicated than this and requires holistic collaborative formative forms of assessment, not standardized one-size fits all students, from every community, testing. Of course it is imperative that youth access and develop academic rigor and capacity, in numeracy and literacy, and in art, science, dance, movement, cooking, crafting, music, athletics, critical thinking, acting, medicine, social-emotional dynamics, and so much more; this holistic community responsive and personalized education will not be accomplished in equitable ways if all we keep looking at are the results of standardized tests as our measure of success.

The building of community, of relationships and student agency, is the way forward to building students’ academic capacity. While access to the resources necessary to learn (such as internet, devices, and in person instruction) are very necessary, the gap in access for excluded and underserved communities has been in existence for decades (centuries). The world-wide COVID-19 pandemic has laid bare these disparities, inequalities, and inequities in access to quality education. What we do now with this information should not be to turn back to the decades old models of oppressive capitalist driven schooling methods that have consistently, systematically, and historically created these very disparities. It is time that we see this biological disruption as the beginning of a prolonged social, economic, and political disruption of the status quo. This requires economic and political will, a will that, sadly, I am not confident the dominant social order will permit to persist and take root. But that for dammed sure doesn't mean I'm giving up. 

As Dr. Betina Love so poignantly and powerfully states - the pandemic showed us that school systems, despite the decades long lack of political will (and supposed economic capacity) to respond to the calls of transformation, stop on a dime, move quickly, and provide some of the resources and changes that seemed "impossible" prior to the pandemic - stopped using standardized tests, gave one-to-one devices for all children/families, relied on trusting teachers' pedagogy, expertise and ingenuity - treated almost like professionals (no?), relied on trusting parents as integral partners in education, provided flexible schedules and hybrid models, tech companies gave out free internet, "compassion over compliance". . . So we know these changes are not only possible, they are realistic and doable. So how do we keep this same energy and spirit going? That is the only question in my heart and mind. 

What was normal pre-pandemic was not healthy for our communities - as Dr. Love compels us to fight for - we need to maintain and reinvigorate the trust in teachers, parents, and students that was readily given during the beginning stages of the pandemic - the flexibility around due dates, grading, and standardized testing and curriculum - the abolishment of punitive compliance driven policies - let that shit rest - it's done - at least it should be and we know it has been done before and can be done again.

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Student Learning is 100% Teacher Responsibility


Mario Echeverria, educator, school leader, and friend of mine, swears by an interview question for teacher interviews. "How much of a student's learning is your responsibility?" To which there is only one answer. 100%.

I had an interesting exchange on Twitter a few days ago, with a stranger. At first we misunderstood each other, as most exchanges go on social media, but this stranger was there for sincere communication. We are both teachers, educators, and students and we both listened to each other in an attempt to understand the other's point of view. 

He had an interesting first reaction to my statement that teacher's are 100% responsible for student learning. First, he felt that idea could be used to scapegoat teachers, from outside of education, to put the blame of the ills of schooling solely onto their backs, which is a genuine concern. Teachers are blamed for a lot when it comes to the poor outcomes in schools. I reassured him that I am a teacher myself and am not trying to scapegoat anyone. Instead I want to push teachers to embrace the role of curating educational environments were students can bring their whole selves and engage in true dialogue around their learning processes and capacities.

His second concern was that making a statement like this, 100% of student learning is up to the teacher, can potentially reduce a student to a thing, to an object, that the teacher must put upon. That it can potentially strip students of their agency in co-creating educational spaces, that it could be used to uphold a banking system of education. I again reassured him, that the learning that I speak of is liberatory, predicated on the empowerment of student voice and agency in the co-creation of learning spaces.  

This statement is about the power that teachers do have to curate the environment in their classrooms and spaces. Teachers have institutional power to grade, to punish, to stifle, to oppress. Or their power can be used to uplift, empower, and value. Students have power too, as can be witnessed in so many forms of expression, walkouts, outspokenness, and quiet resolve to resist - but many students are disconnected from their power as well.

Dr. Jorge Ramirez Delgado shared this quote from Anzaldua with us during our semester's course, “The struggle is inner: Chicano, indio, American Indian, mojado, mexicano, immigrant Latino, Anglo in power, working class Anglo, Black, Asian--our psyches resemble the bordertowns and are populated by the same people. The struggle has always been inner, and is played out in outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the 'real' world unless it first happens in the images in our heads”  (Gloria Anzaldua, 1999).  

My father work tirelessly to awaken our Chicana/o/e awareness within everyone he met, to help spark critical consciousness and dialogue in every interaction possible, to shed light on our inner struggles of oppression, and create the conditions for change within the social order, to co-create liberatory spaces. That is the true power of love, to create transformative healing and emancipation, bit by bit, moment by moment, from the shackles of the contorted constraints of colonialism, white supremacy, and patriarchy.

"It is 100% the move of a teacher to create a liberatory space, to humanize every child, to hold high expectations of each kid, and to stop at nothing to help each child reach their goals. The passion and purpose need to be aligned. Literally, kids' lives depend on it." Mario Echeverria (2022).
  

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

mindful moments


My favorite definition of mindfulness is, "returning to the present." Mindfulness meditation is the repetitive practice of returning to the present moment, of noticing when we are distracted, or thinking about something other than our current focus, and returning our attention to our intentional focus - such as returning to our breath in vipassana. 

Mindfulness can take on many forms, other than just sitting meditation. Being present with the ocean or any body of water; watching the waves undulate across the sand, listening to the ebb and flow, or to the trickle or roar of the fluid cascading sparkle of the water before us.

A walk in nature, a jog, or a run. The flow of a good game of basketball, our minds focused on the present moment, our bodies in rhythm, our hearts in coherence. Creating visual art, focused on colors and textures running from our hands as medium meets medium. The flow of writing as our minds are focused on the turn of words and sounds of pens, pencils, or the keys' clackity clack.

Mindfulness can be practiced at any time, during any activity, in any situation. It gives us a chance to get to know our inner-worlds, to become familiar with our patterns of thought, to familiarize ourselves with our internal dynamics, our relationship with the external world, and to exercise our mental attention and focus on the present.

How much time do you spend rushing your teeth in the morning? Two or three minutes?
How long is your shower; ten, fifteen, maybe twenty minutes?
How much time does it take to shave, fix your hair, or put on makeup? 

I know I tell myself many times, through both my actions of avoidance and my inner-monologue, that I don't have time to meditate or to be mindful, that I lack time for a mindful moment. But I know I really do. What might I be avoiding? Maybe an unseen pain, or an attachment to a pattern or habit that I find comfort in?

We can make a shift to be more mindful, intentionally. Five minutes as we sit down before we eat our lunch. Five minutes after we park at work or after we get home, sitting in our car. Five minutes after a Zoom meeting, five minutes outside in our backyard, porch, or taking a short walk. Do we have five minutes for peace of mind and whole heartedness, for self-compassion and loving kindness? I can make the time. I can imagine myself open to daily mindful moments.

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Bar Soap - Yep, a post about bar soap

 


Thanks to my brother Ricky I have started to use bar soap, specifically the Defense brand of bar soap with tea-tree and eucalyptus oils. I had to buy new bars a few weeks ago and I realized that I really didn't have any way (or where) to put the soap in between showers - it just sort of sat there on one of our two ledges getting smaller and smaller with every other shower (even when I wasn't using it). So I did some internet sleuthing to see what kind of soap dishes or containers I could to extend the life of the bar. I found a few that made sense, but the two that I was draw to the most both had problems (in my mind at least). I was about to buy a bamboo one, but all of the reviews talked about how it just mildewed within weeks of use. There was another one, a porcelain one, that looked good, but in my mind all I could image was me dropping it in the shower and having to clean up a mess of ceramic shards. 

The other day, as I was using a natural loofa, and I realized I can just put the soap bar on top of the loofa. So far it seems to have worked really well, the soap bar stays much drier in between showers than before (when I used to reach down between bottles and just find a goopy edged bar). I do have to say, if your loofa is a bit long, or curved in any way, you may have to find a little nook, as I have, to slightly lean the loofa with the soap on top, so that it will not fall over between showers. 

If you're into bar soap and would like to look into other ways to prolong the life of your soap bar, check out these two links below. I found them to be pretty interesting.

9 Ways to Store a Bar Soap in the Shower and Make it Last Longer - Loo University

How to store soap and shampoo bars – nul

Friday, February 4, 2022

Pressure to Produce


I was talking to a good friend of mine, another educator, just checking in the other day and in reflecting on our conversation I thought about how capitalism's pressure to produce over everything else ruins so much. In particular I was telling him about how so many aspects of my life involve reading and writing right now, from my day-job in education, to my PhD work as a student, and even teaching the one class that I facilitated last semester at USD, liberal studies 100. My friend said, then you must be getting really good at writing. To which I responded, maybe, but I don't feel like that right now. I feel burned out. Of course, now I'm sitting down to write about it, about how I feel burned out by how much writing I've had to do lately, and I'll process this burned out feeling, by writing about it, ha!

An idea struck me though. Within my PhD program it feels like I really want to work hard at becoming an elite athlete (an elite scholar), but instead of having room to practice our craft, instead feeling like we have space to really flourish, to move openly, and in ways that feel right for each of our bodies (minds and spirits), instead of being trusted to trust our own body (mind), intuition, and movements, it's like we're being asked to break up boulders with sledge hammers, over and over again. It's tiring. I was already tired (this pandemic has me exhausted). And so when I go to practice my own techniques, my own movements, I'm tired, burned out, feeling like the breaking down of the boulders hasn't really helped me progress in my path.

Granted, part of my burn-out, probably a large portion of it, is the COVID-blues. I am so sick of this panorama, er, I mean pomegranate, wait, wait, I meant to say pandemonium - uh, well, I think you know what I'm talking about, I hope. Or maybe I hope that you don't, because that would mean either you really don't understand what I've just written which is just fine, probably better to spare you the re-traumatization, or you're reading this from some distant place, or time - more likely time - after this has blown over and is in the annals of history.

Back to the topic, of capitalism ruining everything. My current PhD experience has some parallels with my (now) 15-year old son's high school experience, during his first semester of 9th grade. Without getting into too many intimate details, the basic gist of the connection between my experience and his is that we are struggling to help his school understand that some of their grading policies and procedures have been punitive and unrelated to our son's learning. That the compliance task-heavy nature of the industrial model of schooling is taxing, mind-numbing, soul-sucking, creativity crushing - and ultimately dehumanizing. I mean, we haven't said all of this to his teachers and school leaders, and while I think they would actually agree with some of (or even a lot of this) they, like so many educators, continue to perpetuate these cycles and systems of capitalist-driven punitive structures.

So why do we have grades? Is it to measure learning or effort? What is the definitive difference between an A and a B? Is it measurable, consistent? Is it like temperature, where a 10 degree difference in Celsius in one classroom is the same as in another? No, right? Can we be sure that the difference between two grades, the differences in assessment or evaluation of student work by a teacher, is the same between all instances of As and Bs throughout all Western forms of schooling? Of course not. An A in one class, from a particular teacher, with a particular student, is going to mean something completely different than an A in any other class, or even in the same class with a different student. So why do we keep using them as if they measure something tangible, real, or valuable - like effort and hard work? And is "effort" and "hard work" what we want to or should be measuring? 

Let me be clear, effort and hard work are keys to growth, but is that what we should be measuring in our school settings? How hard a student worked? Is it measurable? Is one student's 3 hours of focused time and effort the same as another student's 3-hours? If I can write 5 pages in less time than my brother (and I know I can), does that mean that I can get a better grade in less time with less effort? So we aren't really measuring effort then, right? Maybe these concepts of hard work and effort, that we attempt to measure, or pretend to measure, with our schooling systems' grades, are graded because they translate easiest into the capitalist working conditions that exist in our society? Maybe.


Sunday, November 3, 2019

The power of meditation and the silliness of serendipity


Today while waiting in line at Sprouts to buy my lunch I decided to be mindful - to focus on the present moment, kindly, nonjudgmentally taking note of my feelings and thoughts, and do a little walking (standing in line) meditation. As I took my first deep breath and allowed my focus to set in on my state of being I could feel anxiety rising in my belly.  I had looked over at the other line that I didn't get into and noticed that it was shorter.  I looked over again and the person I would have been behind was being rung up while I still had two people in front of me.  I heard the thought, I should have gotten into the other line. I focused on my breath and the anxiety; I noticed jealousy, jealous of the few extra minutes that my alternate-reality self would have had. Thoughts and feelings swam around, thought, I had made a mistake, I was missing out.  These feelings and thoughts were powerful reminders of how often I operate outside of the present moment.  I focused in on the present moment noticing the clerk at the register in front of me checking a $100 bill she had been given for authenticity. Then the person in front of me was being served. I stayed focused on my breath. And now I am here present with the clerk.

As I turned to leave I was looking down at my wallet and I had to stop as I almost ran into the person leaving from the other register.  It was the woman I would have been behind, the one that had gotten to the register while I was still waiting in my line.  I left her pass in front of me and a smile burst across my face. How silly of me to have worried in the first place, I had chosen the faster line (and missed out on an extra minute or two of meditation).